roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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