forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
