i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My friends, they love my intelligence
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
