i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
