This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
