She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
