i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
