ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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