3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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