he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
