In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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