Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
