CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
