I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
