like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
