next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
