i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
