the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
