Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
