She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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