i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
