**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
