Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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