Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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