when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
