Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Randomize
