im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
