bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
