one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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