I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
