threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Someone came in the potted fern
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
