a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
