he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
