exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
