The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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