Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
