A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
