he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
