I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
