Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
