I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
