Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
