Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
