there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
