it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
