areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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