you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
