dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
