real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
