Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
