well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
